Language acquisition is not linear.
But it is reliable, as long as we stay consistent, patient, and flexible.
If you’ve ever wondered whether your child is really absorbing a second language or whether everything falls apart the second you miss a class, this year’s experience with my daughter, Isa, reminded me of one essential truth:
In this blog post, I want to share what 2025 taught me as a bilingual-mom-teacher navigating French, Spanish, English, and even Japanese with my 4-year-old. Some moments humbled me. Some reassured me. And some completely surprised me.
So, here’s what I learned, and what I think will help any parent raising a bilingual or multilingual child.
1. Your child can “stop using” a language temporarily and still not lose it
This year, I left Isa with her grandma for 5 days. Grandparents speak English with her. I speak only French. Our nanny speaks Spanish.
When I came back… my child would not speak French to me. At all.
In the end, itt took 7 full days to get her back into “French mode.”
What I learned:
- Yes, children can “drop” a language quickly when the environment changes.
- No, that does not mean they’ve lost it.
- And yes, consistency brings it back.
- What truly slows things down? My own frustration.
However, I am going to be honest, I got annoyed. I shouldn’t have. But I’m human, and switching from multilingual mom to worried teacher took over.
In reality, bilingual children don’t lose a language in five, six, seven or whatever amount of days. But, they just shift to match whatever language feels easiest at the moment. Once I calmed down and stayed consistent, French came back. That’s how language acquisition works.
Lesson: Don’t panic. Don’t pressure. Just continue speaking the target language like normal. The rhythm comes back, it always does.
2. Around age 4, the community language takes over (and that’s normal)
This was the year English bulldozed its way into our home, hard.
And I know, many of the Spanish-speaking families at our school moved on to kindergarten, which meant Isa suddenly spent her days playing in English. For the first time ever, English became her playground language.
A couple of years ago, I predicted this would happen around 4, and I was right.
What I learned:
- The community language will always rise naturally, even if you don’t encourage it.
- My “French-only with Mama” rule was the only thing keeping French strong, and it truly paid off.
- But it also means… I have to double down to protect that space.
This is exactly what many Spanish-learning families experience:
If the community language is English, parents must actively carve out space for the minority language.
And you know what? That’s doable. It just requires intention.
3. Sometimes you get tired and you don’t have to be perfect
I need to admit something I never thought I’d say out loud:
I’m tired of speaking French.
You see, French is my third language, one I learned as an adult in my 30s. Speaking it all day, every day, to a very talkative 4-year-old sometimes feels mentally exhausting.
I cannot always give her the nuanced conversations she wants in French. Some days, my brain is fried. On those days, English slips in.
And I’ve learned…
That’s okay.
You don’t have to be an endless fountain of perfect target-language input.
You don’t have to narrate every moment in Spanish, French, or whatever your language goal is.
You don’t have to feel guilty for needing a break.
Consistent exposure matters far more than perfection.
Lesson: Offer what you can, when you can. Your child will not lose their language because you explained a deep emotional concept in English one evening.
4. Even when it looks like “nothing is happening,” the brain is learning
This was the year I nearly talked myself out of continuing Isa’s online Japanese classes.
Picture this:
Most lessons involve my child wandering away from the screen, dancing around the room, playing with toys, or answering questions in the wrong language entirely. Meanwhile the teacher keeps going, saint-like, smiling and singing.
But I trusted the research, my instinct, and my own experience as a language educator:
The brain absorbs language even when the body looks distracted.
And then… It happened!
One day Isa started saying short Japanese sentences.
Then more and then more.
Exactly where she should be after one year of classes, three times a week, 25 minutes each.
This reminded me of something I tell parents all the time:
Online language classes are not “money wasted,” even if your child looks like a chaos tornado. Kids absorb through routine, repetition, songs, storytelling, and teacher bonds, the same way they learned their first language.
What I learned:
- Her progress was slow, steady, invisible… until suddenly it wasn’t.
- The method works, even when it doesn’t look like it’s working.
- Consistency is more important than attention span.
5. Breaks are okay but expect a warm-up period afterwards
When I left for 5 days, it took Isa another 7 days to get her French back to its usual flow. That means this ratio is usually true:
You see, the time you pause is the time they need to warm back up.
Five days away? Expect five to seven days back in the groove.
Three weeks off? Expect it to take about three weeks to get fully back on track.
And I say this as someone who once took a three-year break from Japanese myself, which remains one of my biggest regrets. Momentum matters.
Lesson:
Breaks won’t ruin anything, however you should expect a reactivation period.
Don’t interpret it as loss. It’s just recalibration.
6. Tiny daily questions do more than long lessons
This was maybe the biggest lesson of my entire year:
Small, spontaneous questions reinforce language better than long, structured lessons.
With Japanese the only non-native language she’s actively learning these micro-moments made all the difference.
Here’s an example:
Yesterday Isa said, “apple.”
I said, “Oh! You learned that in Japanese today. What was it again?”
We tried remembering it together, laughed, repeated it a few times. And boom it stuck.
And here me when I tell you: Those 20 seconds did more for her long-term retention than any worksheet ever could.
Why these micro-moments matter:
- They bring the new word back to the front of the brain.
- They connect the word to a real-life context (way more memorable).
- They show your child the language exists outside “class time.”
This is the foundation of true bilingualism:
living the language, not just studying it.
Raising a multilingual child isn’t tidy. It’s not linear. It’s not always easy. But it is incredibly rewarding.
So this is all I relearned this year:
- Consistency matters more than perfection.
- Breaks slow things down, but don’t undo progress.
- Kids absorb even when they seem unfocused.
- The minority language needs your protection.
- Micro-moments are magic.
- And above all… children always return to the languages that feel safe, warm, and connected to the people they love.
