Today let’s talk about an issue that just about every family raising bilingual kids runs into at some point: You’re talking to your child in the language you want them to practice, but they refuse to respond in that language.
Or your kid is taking Spanish classes, but you never really hear them SPEAK the language. (We’ll be using Spanish as the example language here since we have a Spanish school for kids.)
So how in the world can you get your kids to respond in Spanish? After all, you want to make sure your kids are learning to speak the language — not just understand what they hear in their Spanish classes or bilingual or dual-language classrooms.
Minority vs. Majority Language
When kids don’t respond in Spanish, you might feel frustrated or disappointed. You may even wonder whether their Spanish classes are really working. But it’s actually completely normal. And it doesn’t mean that your kid is rejecting a language.
So let’s dive deeper into that. Before we do, though, I want to explain some language-education terminology that I will be using in this blog. I’m going to be talking in terms of the majority language and the minority language.
The majority language is the one the child hears most of the time. For example, let’s say you’re an English-speaking family in the U.S. and you want your kids to learn Spanish.
You speak English in the home, and English is the dominant language at school. In this case, English is the majority language and Spanish is the minority language.
The same is true if one or both parents speak to the child in Spanish. English is still the majority language because it’s what your kid is typically hearing in school, with their friends, at the doctor’s office, on the playground, etc.
This is not just a U.S. issue or an issue with native English speakers. You could have the same issue with an English-speaking family living in Mexico City. They want their kids to learn English, and they speak to them in English. But the kids answer back in Spanish because it’s the societal, or majority, language.
Common Reason Why Your Kids Don’t Respond in the Minority Language
So why do kids do this? And what can you do about it? I’ve got some ideas to share with you. They’re based on my 15 years of experience running an online Spanish immersion school for kids, plus information from Parents magazine, BilingualKidsRock.com and the language educators at Helen Doron English.
Besides being a language teacher, I’m also someone who has learned three languages as an adult and a mom who’s raising her own child to be trilingual. So I know where you’re coming from, whether you’re a native speaker or a non-native speaker, trying to incorporate a second language into your child’s life.
A common reason that kids don’t respond in the minority language is they know that they don’t need to. Like us, kids like to do things the easy way and stay in their comfort zone.
And if they know you speak the majority language, they might decide not to do the extra work to come up with a reply in the minority language.
Tips to Get Your Kids to Speak in Their Minority Language
Language immersion classes
An immersion environment gives kids no choice but to use the minority language. This is why our Spanish classes at TruFluency Kids are taught almost entirely in Spanish from Day 1, depending on the level of the student, and the teacher helps the child respond in Spanish.
Language learning summer camp
You could also try things like enrolling your child in a language immersion summer camp. But be aware that kids will probably still speak to each other in the majority language, and that they won’t get a lot of one-on-one time speaking the language in large classes.
You’ll still need to supplement with some type of one-on-one Spanish conversation time weekly.
Full immersion environment
It’s best to establish a clear language expectation from the beginning. This means finding or creating an environment where only the target language (like Spanish) is used. A few examples:
- A language immersion school
- Time with a babysitter who speaks the target language
- Sessions with a tutor who uses only the target language
- Online language classes
- Playdates with friends who speak the target language
The key is consistency. The language environment you establish at the start tends to stick. It’s challenging to change the language of interaction later if you’ve consistently used one language from the beginning.
For example, I began speaking Spanish to my daughter when she was just 6 weeks old. Later, when she was 1 year old, I started speaking only French to her.
Now, she associates me exclusively with speaking French. It would feel strange for both of us if I were to speak to her in Spanish or English now.
This consistent approach has become a habit in our daily lives. If you’re not fluent in Spanish, you can create this same environment with someone else in your child’s life, such as a caregiver or tutor who speaks the target language.
Remember, you can start this approach at any age, but consistency is crucial for success.
Fun and interesting activities and resources for kids
Kids become more motivated to speak a minority language when it connects them to something they’re interested in. Try introducing them to books, music, shows, movies, games and so forth in the minority language.
If, for example, a singer that they like speaks Spanish, they might decide that it’s cool for them to speak Spanish, too.
In my home, nothing my daughter encounters is in English — no books, no TV, nada. It might change as she gets older, but this is what we’ve been doing for the first six years of her life.
She gets enough English from school, my family (who speak nothing BUT English), the grocery store, and everywhere else. In fact, her strongest language is still English, even after all my hard work.
Spanish is very close behind English, and French is a close third. So I have to stay consistent in our home with as many resources as possible in Spanish or French. I recommend that you do the same with your kids’ minority language.
Community
If your kids see other families speaking the minority language, they will realize it’s not just their family who speaks it.
But what if you live in a place where no one else speaks the language you’re trying to give your child? You’ll need to look online for classes and conversation partners. If you have family members who speak the target language, call them daily.
If possible, get to know other families who are using this language at home. Or trying to use it during everyday activities. I have deliberately sought out other families who speak Spanish in the home, and I’m making a point to ask them to go to the park on weekends.
Also, seek out neighborhoods where kids speak that language, so your children hear it being used naturally. Libraries in those neighborhoods are a good place to connect with other families.
My babysitter took my daughter to the library and got to know a Spanish-speaking family there. They now come to our house for our kids to play together while the adults chat.
I have chosen to live in a predominantly Spanish-speaking neighborhood in Dallas. I love that when my daughter walks down the street, she hears people speaking Spanish and automatically says “¡Hola!” and “¡adiós!”
Set the example
Finally, I encourage you to be a good role model for your kids when it comes to language learning.
I once read a Parents magazine article with an anecdote that might feel familiar to a lot of bilingual families. (But it’s also applicable even if you’re not fluent in another language besides English.) It’s about a family in the U.S. in which both parents speak both Spanish and English.
The dad speaks mostly Spanish at home since that’s his dominant language. The mom speaks both languages well. Lately, the kids have been refusing to respond in Spanish.
The mom realizes that even though she speaks Spanish herself, she usually responds to the dad in English when he speaks to her in Spanish. She also realizes that this isn’t the example she wanted to set.
Give Your Child the Gift of Spanish!
Tips if You Don’t Speak the Minority Language
But what if you don’t speak Spanish? You can be a good role model even if you don’t speak the minority language yourself. Why not try to learn alongside your child?
You’ll be showing them that speaking this language is important and that you are also willing to put in the work it takes to learn it — even when you make mistakes or it feels uncomfortable.
We actually provide a lot of mini Spanish lessons on our TikTok channel for parents to help teach their kids Spanish. These are designed especially for non-native Spanish speaking parents.
I suggest choosing one question and answer to focus on each week. Put that question/answer on a flashcard on your fridge and use it any time that situation comes up. So, for example:
- “¿Qué haces?” (What are you doing?)
- “Estoy comiendo” (I’m eating).
So every time your child is eating you can ask this question, and they can practice answering you. After a year, that will be 52 daily questions and answers. That’s a great year of learning and incorporating Spanish, or whatever language you want, into your daily routine!
And it’s real learning, too.
Listening, understanding the spoken question, being able to respond, in context, in real time in real life. That’s real learning. You’ve created an experience that your child can connect to, just like when they learned their first language.
TruFluency Kids Enhances Spanish Fluency
If Spanish is the minority language for your children, TruFluency Kids online classes could be a great fit for them.
Like I said earlier, all of our classes are taught in Spanish. And they’re just plain fun, with lots of music, games, stories, and other activities.
Our classes are a great way for your children to meet other bilingual kids — especially because we encourage them to speak in Spanish in every class. They’ll soon be speaking in Spanish with all their friends.
Check out our blogs and our YouTube channel for more language-learning tips, bilingual parenting suggestions, and tons of Spanish lessons you can use daily.
Your kids can also take a trial class now! Our classes are super personalized, because there are no more than four to six students. After the trial, join a parent Q & A to answer all your questions. Here’s to fluency!
